My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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