Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize