between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
