smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
