I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
