How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
