Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
