haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
