Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
