she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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