Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize