I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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