Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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