He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
