hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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