i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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