Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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