matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
dude. I can hear the air.
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