Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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