She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
