I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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