my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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