I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
