so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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