He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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