I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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