he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize