Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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