Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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