woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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