make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
