I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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