What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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