i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
