wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
