I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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