singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
