yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize