We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
