am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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