all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
