If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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