CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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