Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
