My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
