Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
