So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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