This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize