made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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