she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
