Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
