my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A+ Viking dick
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