Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You're like the curious george of whores
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
