fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
