OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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