in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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