we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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