i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
