I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize