I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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