Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Found your dick twin last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
