Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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