Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
