Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
