Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize