if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
