But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
